Pro mma fighter Neal Craft has been pounding on some beef cuts in preparation for his fight next month. We’ve been receiving quite a few questions about dealing with everyday and not-so-everyday situations. Our resident fighter/blogger was gracious enough to step out the freezer to answer your questions.
Trina from Deadman Crossing, OH asks:
I just recently moved into my apartment. Although, I love my new apartment it’s located right beside a cemetery. Friday the 13th is coming up and I’m wondering what I can do to protect myself from a zombie invasion?
Neal answers- As a jiu jitsu fighter, I have some tailored advice for this dilemma. To protect yourself from zombies you need to get a gi specially made from tough material that will cover your whole body. That way if the zombies bite you, their teeth can’t penetrate your skin so you can keep from being infected. Second, you need to become accurate with a shotgun, specifically head shots. If a zombie's brains are destroyed it is effectively neutralized. Third, get a reliable axe or sword and sharpener because when the bullets are all gone, your ax, sword, or machete will never tire as long as it is well maintained. Fourth, remain in shape to run and decapitate the zombie hoard. If you can’t outrun the zombie you must be strong enough to cut its head off. I recommend ginastica natural workout (a workout from Brazil specifically design to help fighters) to maintain strength without being bulky so you will not fatigue early. Lastly, do not grapple with the zombie without your full body super gi, the zombie will bite you and you will then become a zombie. Then the only thing I can recommend is a swift death or learn to love brain soup.
Tanner from Mosquitoville, Vermont asks:
I just got my school schedule. Problem is I just have a 20 minute break between my first and second class. Plus, my second class is across from campus. I’m thinking the best solution would be to learn how to fly like the old ninja masters! The semester starts in three weeks. How long would it take to learn and how should I get started?
A. Ninjas do not fly. They jump from tree to tree or building to building. Or they disappear in a cloud of smoke and reappear someplace else. Also they might burrow though the ground and attack from the ground. They do not fly. That being said the going through the ground makes sense. There is a jiu jitsu shirt that says I am like a shark and the ground is my ocean and most people don't know how to swim. So you don't want to learn to fly, you want to take jiu jitsu and learn how to make the ground like water so you can learn to swim through it. That comes after attaining your brown belt. So until then all I can say is get a bike.
Zack from Turkey Foot, FL asks:
I just received an invite to participate in mixed martial arts tournaments in a remote area of China. What should I do to get prepared?
A. That’s easy. Find the nearest school and train. But not just normal training you have to do a combination of training from the movies Kickboxer, Kung fu with David Carridine, Never Back Down, and Bloodsport with music alternating between the Rocky soundtrack, Kickboxer soundtrack, and Karate Kid 2 soundtrack. After this you will have the strength, determination and focus to fight for the glory of love in China. That sounds like a kung fu movie! Or you can cheat and learn jiu jitsu, take everyone down and ground and pound or submit because everyone knows from the movies that all the Kung Fu/karate heroes of China have no ground at least not till 2007 when Donnie Yen made Flash Point, a MMA Kung fu movie. Either way the training soundtrack will help. An epic journey deserves an epic play list.
Kyle from Boring, Maryland asks:
Street Fighter is my favorite game and I’m really interested in learning martial arts. How long do you think it would take to throw a shoryuken?
A. As a muay thai specialist, I say forget shoryuken! Shoryuken is karate like Ryu. Learn Tiger Shot, Tiger Uppercut, And Tiger Genocide Like Sagat. The king of Muay Thai in Streetfighter. Enough said.
No comments:
Post a Comment